I just read an interesting approach to finding a life partner . A summary is “There is a sad truth to the world today. I am part of a dying breed of people known as “shell users.” … Because there are fewer and fewer of us, I must help keep our lineage alive. I am looking for someone to help me do this. I need a woman (obviously) who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix.“.
While there is a moderate amount of humour in the post (I recommend that you read it in full) it is a genuine attempt to find a partner.
One thing that has occurred to me is that part of the cause of the attitude toward women that is sometimes demonstrated in my community is the fact that there are so many guys who are single and have been single for a long time. If this problem was alleviated then I believe that some of the other social issues would be significantly improved.
The advert in question is a bit more courageous than most guys would be prepared to consider (it’s up there with the guy who paid for a giant sign to be installed beside a highway). But there are many other options.
ESR has some advice to offer , but the name of the URL (sextips) seems an accurate representation of the focus of the pages. One problem with ESR’s advice is that it seems to assume an ability to be extroverted (or at least fake it) which is greater than many geeks possess. Another problem is that he assumes that geeks are inherently more intelligent than average people – there is more than adequate evidence to disprove this theory. It seems more reasonable to only assume that geeks are better than average at doing geeky things.
It seems to me that the one thing that geeks really are better at is writing email! Therefore it seems logical that geeks who want good success in meeting women should try and involve the use of email in some way. Singles web sites seem an obvious way to take advantage of this. Unfortunately there is a strange cultural aversion to using such web sites which even afflicts geeks. For some reason it’s thought to be a good idea to try and meet a life partner in a place where there is inadequate light, too much background noise to talk properly, and where everyone has taken mind-altering chemicals (I am referring to drinking alcohol at a bar of night-club). Once strange cultural ideas are discarded it seems obvious that if you want to meet a potential life-partner then you should do so in a place where there is good light, an opportunity to talk, and where everyone is in a normal state of mind. Starting out with email and then talking over the phone and exchanging JPEG pictures seems to be a sensible option in this regard.
Most times that you chat to someone you meet over the net it won’t go any further than email or maybe phone-calls. But that’s still entertaining and useful practice at communicating with women.
One thing that the Craig’s List advertiser really got right is that he knows what he wants. An advantage of the singles sites on the net is that they often force people to make decisions. When a singles site demands that you enter a desired number of children that you want to have (with 0 being an acceptable answer) then you will be forced to consider the issue and make a decision. While being prepared to negotiate about such things may be desirable, I can’t imagine anyone finding it appealing when someone doesn’t know what they want or doesn’t have the confidence to say it.
Finally don’t rule out the possibility of meeting someone through your local LUG. There are a quite a few married couples who met through the Linux community. But don’t go making “pick-up” attempts on women in the community – the result will not be positive.
Via Michael Still.